The Furby materialized on American shelves in 1998, after a brief warp-trip from some ethereal hell-domain. It drove parents insane. Their children wanted one, insanely badly. They sold out, insanely quickly. Now, the Furby is back, and it is insanity incarnate.

General Omar N. Bradley commanded American ground forces in Germany during World War II, and he witnessed some of mankind's most debased savagery. Bradley once said: "If we continue to develop our technology without wisdom or prudence, our servant may prove to be our executioner."

Sure, he was probably talking about the inexorable progress of nuclear proliferation and mechanized warfare. But if he could see the 2012 rebirth of the Furby, he would nod solemnly, gasp, and collapse in a fit of cardiac arrest.

The new Furby is grotesque. It is a terror. It is a mile marker on the road to tech dystopia. Kids will love it.

What Is It?

A neon animatronic gremlin toy designed to be handled regularly by children. If you're familiar with the Furby of 1990s infamy, it's pretty much the same deal—only everything has been thrown through the Large Hadron Collider, accelerated to an unconscionable degree of loud, bright, and wiggly. It has LED eyes. A toy for kids has eyes filled with liquid crystal diodes and an unfathomable number of transistors