Bono says his recovery from the November bicycle crash in New York has been “more difficult than I thought” and doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to play guitar again.

The U2 frontman wrote a 6000-word essay on the band’s website detailing the severity of his injuries resulting from the Central Park crash which he says he has no memory of. He writes, “I blanked out on impact and have no memory of how I ended up in New York Presbyterian with my humerus bone sticking through my leather jacket. Very punk rock as injuries go.” He says he broke his hand, shoulder, elbow “and my face” and adds that his injuries could prevent him from ever playing guitar again. But he still has his sense of humor adding that neither the band nor Western civilization are depending on him to play the guitar.

Bono says he hasn’t been able to move around much and has cancelled all public appearances for the beginning of the year. His goal is to be physically ready to begin the band’s tour in May.